Obamagate or “How I will never measure up to the Black President”

Donald went on a Mother’s Day rage-tweeting binge that covered all the favorites his menial sundowning mind can still remember.

You know his favorites because he has them on repeat forever, like your kid who wants to watch Frozen for the sixty-fourth straight day. And if you should dare want to watch The Office end-to-end (for the eighth time – get a life, parent) your kid screams bloody murder and causes your neighbor to finally decide to move.

Donald Trump

But nothing satisfied his Adderall-addled brain (have you seen his pupils?) so he eventually went to his toolbox that has one thing in it: A picture of President Obama.

After he wiped the drool from his dry lips he began tweeting nonsense about “Obamagate” and getting his goons in a lather that some how some way President Obama is a criminal whose arrest is imminent – that is a favorite of his base and their conspiracy groups who forever fantasize about arresting the Black President.

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When asked a day later to define “Obamagate,” the idiot could not because there’s no such thing, of course. Pressed more he simply scuttled away like a cockroach when the lights come on.

Because he could not define “Obamagate” and the press will let it all slide, I’ll define it for him here in some of the ways that national journalists will not.

Obamagate definition #1:

Saving economy  – also brought to us by a terrible republican president. While you’ve run up record deficits and enriched yourself and your trailer-trash properties.

Obamagate definition #2:

Affordable Care Act – fulfilling a 50+ year Democratic dream, while you can even launch pandemic testing outside of your infested white house.

Obamagate definition #3:

Creating international pandemic response team, with branches in China, that you disbanded while making personal side deals with China.

Obamagate definition #4:

Bagging Osama Bin Laden – the guy funded by your Saudi friends. You know, the ones your boy-toy Jared is friends with who also murdered American Washington Post Journalist Khashoggi.

Obamagate definition #5:

Saving the Auto industry, while you’ve bankrupted famers, and caused 33 million to lose their job.

Obama-Dont-Call-it-a-Comeback

Obamagate definition #6:

Equalizing federal pay for women/men, while you underpaid Stormy Daniels for having to see your little thumb.

Obamagate definition #7

Treated everyone with respect and honor, while you insult women every day, and give daily shoutouts to your racist supporters and anti semites.

Obamagate definition #8

Talked forcefully about the best of America with unbridled optimism, while you work closely with your puppeteer Putin to daily tell the world how awful America is and how wonderful racists are.

Obamagate definition #9

Respected government institutions, its people, and every day workers, while you’re just a small-brained stupid little man afraid of truth and honesty.

Obamagate definition #10

Stood by his wife with grace, respect, and honor, and respected women, while you paid for sex workers while your third wife was pregnant. And still have 26 credible assault and rape allegations, including from a then 13 year old girl, and one that is still in court.

94th Annual National Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony

Obamagate definition #11

Set an example of how to lovingly parent and how to love all kids, while your illiterate boys, and your in-need-of-therapy-to-deal-with-the-trauma-of-her-father’s-illicit attention, daughter debase themselves daily while stealing from taxpayers.

Obamagate definition #12

Respected and honored all religions. “Corinthians 2”

Obamagate definition #13

Wore suits that fit including that tan suit that was a killer, while your cheap and two sizes to big shiny suits are better as drapes in your roach infested hotel.

Obamagate definition #14

Had a goddamned dog that loved him. Dogs know evil and thankfully you don’t have a dog. But also, a dog would never be around your stinky ass.

Obamagate definition #15: 

Trusted the women who beat you by three million votes, Hillary Clinton, while you trusted the Russians who gave you your third wife, Mike Flynn, Paul Manafort, and teenaged “models.”

Obamagate definition #16

Selected the Vice President who will beat your stinky ass in November – Joe Biden, while you have that wooden guy who everyone hates.

You will never be the man Obama is, so as the kids say, put some respect on his name and keep his name out of your KFC-greasy mouth.

FRONTLINE "Dreams of Obama"

© 2020 by Myron J. Clifton. All Rights Reserved. 

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