The Horribly Bad Not Very Good Vice President Vetting Process

Listening in on a Zoom call with Chris Dodd, Ed Rendell, David Axelrod, Rufus Gifford, and a few Politico writers.

Team Biden are holed up in their homes on a never-ending Zoom call that started after Biden secured the Democratic Nomination. All but one of the square Zoom boxes are filled with old white men laughing and whooping it up about how they get to still be in charge of finding the “Perfect” ™ woman that will fulfill Biden’s pledge to select a woman as a running mate.

Let’s listen in – all the voices/comments are interchangeable so determine for yourself who is talking:

“She just isn’t demure enough.”

“I know, and she never apologized to Biden for tell the truth.”

“And there is just no way she can be loyal, right? RIGHT!?!”

“She’s too ambitious, too, what the f*uck is that all about? Ambitious women always talk too much and think they deserve to be heard.”

“She doesn’t even have kids, so that means she isn’t warm. Or a woman. Or human, I guess.”

“We need to give off the record negative comments to the media – and I mean the good media, like our friends at Politico, because they are always ready to post a negative article about women.”

Please note: the Politico *reporters all muted but they don’t know it because they don’t research or pay attention.

“And Politico really loves writing negative articles about black women – and I say that with a small ‘b.”

The Zoom erupts in old white guy guffaws.

“Oh, and how about we start some catfighting between the black candidates?”

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

“KAREN BASS!” they all shout in unison.

“Yass girl, she’s thirsty as hell so let’s get her trending. Then, once she’s known nationally, we can release all our oppo on her and, woo boy, it’s juicy!”

“Did you… just ‘Yass girl”‘?

“Yass girl, did I do it right? Am I ready for TikTok?”

“You did that thing, bitch!”

The Zoom erupts in old white guy laughter.

“What about Susan Rice?”

“Have you SEEN her son? Have you heard of a little firefight called Benghazi?”

“Yep, that’s why I suggested her.”

The Zoom erupts in old white guy laughing-coughing.

“Guys, we got this. We will kneecap all the women so that they are irreparably harmed for 2024. Then we will have time to find our own Paul Ryan.”

The old white guys get misty-eyed thinking of policy wonk Paul Ryan.

“Thank you black people in South Carolina! Now, please be quiet.”

“So, we are all set then?”

“We are. But before we sign off, Simone Sanders, do you have any feedback?”

End scene.

*This is satire and the conversations are from the author’s imagination that were informed by Chris Dodd, Ed Rendell, David Axelrod, Rufus Gifford, Politico, and Biden’s subpar communications and vetting teams. Teams that have drained the good will and excited expectations of an historic announcement that he would select a woman for Vice President.

The party had an opportunity to promote a joyous event and use the joy to register voters, generate positive enthusiasm, and capitalize on massive free national and international media. Instead, Biden surrogates have “gone low.”

The dual excitement to celebrate a woman vice president nominee and the opportunity to vote out the most corrupt and dangerous administration in U.S. history has been terribly fumbled in the service of old white men tearing down women in general and Black women specifically.

let’s hope team Biden announces a running mate in the coming week.

Copyright 2020 by Myron J. Clifton. All Right Reserved.

2 Thoughts

  1. I really think you are spot on with your analysis of what this process has been like so far. I am beyond frustrated that the woman with the most receipts of working to help all people is being handled in such a dismissive manner. She is not apologetic for who she is and that is exactly why she should be the VP pick. We judge a tree by the fruit it bears and she has produced a cornucopia of fruit! Kamala Harris’ list of things she is far outweighs anything these detractors try to say she isn’t. Great read!

    Liked by 1 person

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