Entering and Energy

Written by M.J.C 

#1.

What exactly happens when we enter into someone else’s universe? We can become overwhelmed for sure. And lost? It can come on so suddenly and with a shock to the system that one can be helpless against the tidal wave of so much emotion attacking one’s sense of self. 

And then what happens? 

Those moments can be a blur. They can be like jumping out of an airplane to skydive. The air hits one with such force that one’s entire body- inside and out- is helpless against the torrent, the force and power of the strength of the wind. 

That is what those… That moment was like. It was all-encompassing and the sound blocked all thought and one’s ability to rescue oneself from the force that was controlling everything. 

It can be in those moments that one has now entered. But entered into what, exactly? And could one recover in the face of such power? 

It can be the most wonderful feeling to enter because one instantly recognized that things have changed. A major change has/is happening and it is impacting one’s entire being simultaneously. The feeling though because it can be so all-encompassing can also feel scary. As if one does not have the capacity to endure it. To survive it. The falling out of an airplane feeling that comes even when one has a parachute. 

What is the parachute in the mind when one enters and begins falling? Is it the experience of life which has taught one to withstand, endure, hope and know one will survive? 

The safety of a parachute is tangible. The dependence on the mind to provide the same assurance and comfort can quickly dissipate in the face of the hopelessness of entering. 

It will be and it was a life changing event. The wind in one’s face; the fear and confusion; the speed of the fall; the hope there will be a soft landing; the knowledge that… Life is fleeting and precious and precarious. And the immediate knowledge that this has never happened before. That all other previous recognition of entering was facades. Fakes. Not real. This, right now is true entering and everything prior were just pieces of entering but not the full act. 

How does one recover from such an awakening? And will one even have the energy to recover?

There is nothing better than having energy. The daily grind of life, of relationships of work constantly drains one’s energy. That we recognize this is obvious since we long to recharge and re-energize. 

But for what purpose are we re-energizing and recharging? Is it an individual choice or is there another reason driving our actions? 

Or another person? Can one person drive another to re-charge? To motivate the other person? There is a thought that one person cannot motivate another person. That one can only be self-motivated. But some will say, “No, I motivated my friend to go out and get a better job, or home, or shoes”. To that I would say… No, you didn’t. We can merely suggest things… And it is those suggestions… Those things that actually motivate, not you. So fear, success, money, power, recognition… Those things motivate, a person does not motivate.  

But what drives any action? It’s energy. And where does that non food-based energy come from? Maybe it can under the exact right circumstances come from another person. One person transferring energy to another. 

Can that happen? I believe so. And can it happen unbeknownst to the giver and the receiver? Perhaps. 

In this instance it did happen. And it was glorious in its completeness. The transfer happened suddenly as these things go and the energy consumed all emotional guards in its path and rearranged them forcing them to see the truth. The energy owned everything in its complete destruction of self and it was… Welcomed. 

And when the moment passed all that was left was an instruction: give it back. Return it to its owner. 

And so did the journey begin. To return and give back what was received. There would be no other task of this importance until this primary task was complete. Give it back. It’s strange to recall as distance blurs the sharpness as it fades to the past. But the echo remains as does the instructions. 

Does the other person, upon whose energy one fed, even know such a transfer took place? Perhaps. Hopefully s/he does and if they do then there can be an expected welcoming in the return and of the giving back. It is upon such as this that friendships and relationships are born, nurtured, and sustained. 

And under these circumstances the returning started. The giving back. But what took seconds to initially happen would now take years to return because it was too much. Too much to take in. Too much to give back at once. Too much to even know how much was received and thus no way to even know where to start. 

Just start. That’s the most important step to any endeavor: starting.

And so, a start was made. A seemingly small step but clearly a monumental one that at its simplest involved that which focuses actions and thought: proximity. 

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